1.05 – Knight of the Hunter – Knight Rider Review

Posted by Samuel Walters

Groan.

“Knight of the Hunter” is a trainwreck. It’s an abomination. I urge you. I implore you. Do. Not. Watch. No, really. Get that morbid curiosity out of your mind. I know what you’re thinking. It’s fun to watch a trainwreck. I’m here to tell you: it’s not fun. It’s agonizing. Or maybe you’re thinking that it cannot possibly be that bad. With such low expectations, you’re bound to find something you’ll enjoy. And that’s true. I recall laughing. But I think it’s because I remembered a joke about dead monkeys. Or remembered a line from the Daily Show.

But seriously. Don’t watch it. This is as bad as it gets. Why do I watch it?

So you don’t have to.

You can thank me later.

So yeah, in this episode there are, yet again, a cadre of mercenaries who are threatening to do bad things – in this case blow up a dam so they can create enough of a distraction to steal A WHOLE LOTTA MONEY! Oh yeah, and they masquerade as right wing extremists to throw everyone off their trail – except for, you know, the government agencies that keep tabs on extremist groups that hoard weapons, train soldiers, and procure a powerful explosive device. Great way to disguise one’s intentions, eh?

So off goes Michael Knight to infiltrate the group, get the skinny on their activities, and put the kibosh on their plans.

That Michael … he’s so talented.

Whilst chumming with the loonies, he meets up with a hot blonde chick who beats him up. But it’s okay because he later beats her up. But it’s okay because she’s actually MI-6. So they, like, you know, join forces in time to be discovered and chased and have KITT get blown up at an inopportune moment (what’s with KITT always coming up short, btw? Guess it’s a fatal flaw of having a machine that is just too perfect for words). So they jump across a river, which is, like, wicked cold. And so they get hypothermia – even though they’re near Phoenix. So they OBVIOUSLY have to take their clothes off and hold each other close just to keep warm.

Betchya couldn’t guess that they kiss. And hot blonde British chick wants to sleep with Michael – but he, being the oh-so-honorable American dude that he is turns her down, because he doesn’t want to betray Sarah – who is back at base saving Michael’s life.

Overall Grade: F

And so ends the episode.

I have sacrificed my time and brain cells so that you do not have to. Please, I implore you. Honor my sacrifice. Do not watch this episode. Or this series. Save yourself. I believe Beavis and Butthead would be more worthy of your time. Go forth. And worship the Butthead.

Topics: Action, TV Reviews
Filed under: Knight Rider