“A Private Little War” is a mess of a narrative, throwing a mishmash of ideas (some very profound and compelling) at the screen and hoping that some of it sticks. Most of it is overcooked or spoiled and the end result is an episode that is one intriguing concept and conversation from utter ruin. The episode is a commentary on the proxy wars of the Cold War, whereby the U.S. and U.S.S.R. would wage war on the soil of other countries. A similar occurrence happens here between the Federation and the Klingon Empire, and for those brief moments in which the episode makes the connection it is successful. Otherwise, it’s ridiculous.

The premise of the episode centers around a planet that Kirk once visited as a young officer – a planet that he dubbed a “garden of Eden” in which the local inhabitants had only bows and arrows and used them only for hunting – never for conflict. But something disturbing has happened in the years in which Kirk has been away. Upon returning, they find that one faction on the planet suddenly has flint-lock rifles – a technological jump that is, from a natural development standpoint, completely illogical.

As it turns out, the one faction (known as Villagers) has been armed thanks to the Klingons. The other faction – the one which Kirk once visited and developed friendships, known as Hill People – is left to fend for itself with bows and arrows. And right away the episode shows its faults by not giving the Klingons any real motive for their actions. The planet isn’t described as tactical or especially worthy of attention outside of its benefit to scientific study, something that the Klingons don’t have any interest in – a point made explicit by the episode.

The central dilemma, then, is what to do about it all? You certainly can’t undo the damage the Klingons have done. You can’t return the innocence that has been lost. So what to do? This is what drives what little success the episode experiences. Kirk’s solution, to arm the Hill People to preserve a “Balance of Power” was very topical in the 1960s, and is certainly relevant today. But it’s presentation is ridiculously portrayed. The Hill People and the Village (people – hehe) have big hair and animal skin outfits. And don’t get me started on the “monster” which attacks Kirk (twice).

And then there’s Nona (Nancy Kovak) as a temptress whose character and plot are entirely superfluous and embarrassing.

It’s not that the femme fatale archetype is a bad thing, but when it’s presented badly it looks like an exploitation of a woman’s sexuality, rather than a celebration of it. As a case in point, there is the scene in which she heals Kirk. She writhes and moans over Kirk’s body, and if you can tell me exactly what her right hand was doing, I’ll be impressed because it certainly didn’t seem to be in a place that would have been appropriate for network television.

The rest of the episode is a mess – from Spock’s injury (and the need for a bitchslap fest to “cure” him) to Nona’s seduction of Kirk and Tyree by way of drugs.

“A Private Little War” started with a good concept – an allegory for the Cold War – and gave us something that is almost entirely worthless thanks to a poor script and even worse production.

Filed under: Original Series