“See if I care!”

Chief O’Brien’s exasperated exclamation is, perhaps, the best way to summarize what has to be one of the most misguided and thoroughly excruciating episodes of the entire DS9 run. When compiling any list of “worst DS9 episode ever,” “Fascination” would have to be part of the conversation. In a way, it’s a bit of a shame. It starts off strongly with some compelling character moments. But with the arrival of the notoriously toxic character of Lwaxana Troi, the episode goes south in a hurry. This time, not only does she infect the story with hokey, embarrassing and pathetic infatuation, she manages to infect just about every major character as well, resulting in an episode that is mess of catastrophic proportions.

We begin with Jake brooding in his quarters over the loss of Marta, who has left the station to study at a far away university. Sisko joins Jake and provides a nice little pep talk. From here we switch gears to O’Brien and Bashir discussing the imminent return of Keiko to the station. Clearly the separation has put a strain on Miles – not to mention the good doctor’s elbow from all of the racquetball matches they have played in Keiko’s absence. The scene is nicely handled, and provides solid continuity between the two characters. Finally, we see Odo making a fairly awkward, subtle, but rather sincere attempt to catch Kira’s attention. The scene works because it allows the undercurrent of emotion to carry the day, rather than using outright expressions. Sadly, that is the last decent scene in the episode.

What happens next is the arrival of Lwaxana – whose arrival is heralded by Molly vomiting on Miles after Lwaxana gave too much candy to the girl on the shuttle trip from Bajor. And that isn’t even the worst scene in the episode.

In typical Trek fashion, it turns out that Lwaxana has some Betazoid virus that causes her to project her amorous feelings toward Odo onto just about every one of the major characters, causing them to suddenly feel, and act, like Lwaxana – in other words, hounding their intended targets, groping them, professing their undying love for them … and all manner of melodrama that would not even be approached by daytime soap. I suppose the episode was going for humor here, but the problem is that the amorous overtures are so incredibly painful to watch, they simply become embarrassing for the characters.

If you’re the sort to keep score:

• Vedek Bareil loves Jadzia
• Jadzia loves Sisko
• Jake loves Kira
• Kira and Bashir love each other
• Quark loves Keiko

Even worse is the O’Brien plotline which is meant to provide the one story grounded in reality. And yet, its machinations are just as bad as the sudsy nonsense from everyone else. Both Keiko and Miles act like little children, yelling and sniping and huffing at one another. They ultimately mend the fences, but by then it’s too late to mend the episode itself which becomes, in effect, a grueling marathon of Lwaxana-esque madness.

“Fascination” gets credit for its opening scenes (until Lwaxana arrives) and for the backdrop of the Bajoran Gratitude Festival, which is the only “fascinating” element to the entire production. Everything else is, simply, a waste of time. I get the whole “latent attraction” thing but, as Bashir himself says at the end, “best not think about it too much.” Which, along with O’Brien’s quote, is a good way of remembering the episode as a whole.

Filed under: Deep Space Nine