So this is what TNG looks like in the “Ancient West.” Thanks, but no thanks. A Fistful of Datas is a fistful of horse manure … pard’ner. Yeehaw.

The episode begins with the Enterprise two days ahead of schedule to rendezvous with a supply ship. The crew takes advantage of the sudden recreation time in a number of different ways, but we begin with Picard practicing his flute. It’s a nice connection back to The Inner Light and it reinforces how the events of that episode have stayed with Picard. But for this episode, the scene serves little more purpose than cheap comedy as Picard is repeatedly interrupted by various crew members. Little do we know that his annoyance will soon become our own.

The scene does establish two apparently separate story threads: Data and LaForge plan to run some tests to link Data’s brain to the Enterprise computers and Worf is doing his best to avoid spending quality time with his son. Yes, Alexander makes an appearance. And his character continues to be a perfect bellwether for the quality of an episode — or rather, the lack thereof.

It seems that Alexander wants to spend time in the Holodeck with his father, exploring the town of Deadwood in the “Ancient West” (Old West, really … it’s a marginally interesting change in terminology) . Worf finally concedes and they next appear in full Western garb as Sheriff Worf and Deputy Alexander.

I’ll admit that it is mildly amusing to see Worf interacting in such an environment. And his smushed-brimmed hat makes the scenes all the more comical. But I just can’t take Worf seriously, either — and the episode wants to be a least quasi serious.

That is all thanks to the Data and LaForge story which ends up little more than a contrivance to get yet another “Holodeck Malfunction” episode coupled with yet another “Data Acting Out Of Character” episode. Because, predictably, the experiment goes awry. Some of Data’s consciousness is transferred to the Holodeck, and some of the Holodeck’s Ancient West tendencies are transferred to Data.

Yeehaw.

On the ship, the result is that various minor systems start acting with an influence of Data — for example, the scripts for Dr. Crusher’s play all show Data’s poetry, instead of the actual lines. And Data, too, starts acting like an Ancient West character, accent and mannerisms both, complete with using “y’all” (so much for contractions) and spitting into potted plants in the Observation Lounge.

I usually enjoy seeing Brent Spiner get to stretch his acting legs a bit. His performance is Brothers, for example, was exceptionally well done. But here the whole production just feels gratuitous. We’ll get a much better version of the “Data Acting Out Of Character” episode in Season 7. But for now, we must suffer through an entire inane episode of drawl, stagger swagger, and “varmint.”

Back inside the Holodeck, Worf and Alexander have been joined by Troi (just before the malfunction). Troi’s performance improves slightly as the episode progresses, but the initial performance was so bad there wasn’t anywhere else to go but up.

As a result of the malfunction — I know you’ll be shocked at this — the Holodeck safety settings are disabled and the program will not cease until it is finished. Really. By now can’t they come up with a better story? Or at least find some way to improve the gosh darn safeties on that thar Holly-deck?

To add to the whole thing, Data appears in the Holodeck. Everywhere. The computer decides to start replacing Holodeck characters with replicas of Data — replicas that all have the same strengths and skills of Data. How a computer is able to replicate such a complex machine — but Data cannot? Yeesh. Consistency is not a bad thing.

It all leads to the inevitable showdown between Worf and the Western Data. In order to beat Data’s speed, Worf manages to construct a small personal shield (why they don’t exist for real … oh, nevermind …). Of course Worf wins, Alexander is rescued (oh yeah, Alexander had been kidnapped at one point), and the day is won. But we’re left to endure one final moment of gratuitous silliness — Data in drag.

Yeehaw.

Oh, and we even get the obligatory “ride into the sunset” with the Enterprise. It’s enough to make you want to throw up.

A Fistful of Datas is a very poor episode –boring, contrived, pointless and utterly disposable. If this episode were to be somehow lost forever, it simply wouldn’t matter. It says something when the best scene comes from Data’s cat.

Topics: Holodeck
Filed under: TNG Reviews